Something I appreciate about writing is how, at least for me, it’s an internal conversation that allows me to clarify my thoughts. Without it, I’m content to think I think x without challenge. Without writing, I don’t have to dig in too deep.
But with writing…
But a blog post, when compared to a book, feels a less formal way to submit something to the world and, I hope, lends itself an ongoing discussion. “Here’s what I think right now, but I’m willing and excited to move, so please push back.”
All that to say — this post has nothing to do with me pretending I know answers. It has everything to do with me asking questions.
I’m co-hosting a podcast with two of my buddies, Alex and Adam, and in the first episode, which is our attempt at putting together a list of the Top 5 pizza spots in New Orleans, we brought up Domenica, which led to a very brief discussion on John Besh. For those that aren’t from New Orleans, Besh owns (owned?) several amazing restaurants in New Orleans, and — this Fall — was outed as a sexual predator. Much of what we know of the incidents are documented here, though this has still left me — and many people I know in New Orleans — with the question, “Is it okay for me to eat at one of Besh’s restaurants?”
One of my regrets in episode #1 is I wish we would have taken more time to talk about this. But we decided we should keep things moving along.
One bit that I’d love clarification on is, to what degree is he still involved with the restaurant group? I know he’s no longer involved in their day-to-day, and I know he’s no longer the CEO (or whatever title he previously held), but I believe he is still a shareholder. Is that correct?
“Then it all changed. During the war it was hell on earth, and I had nothing. I left my family, you know. I was always running, day and night, because the Germans were always right behind me. If you stopped, you died. There was never enough food. I became sicker and sicker from not eating, and I’m not just talking about being skin and bones. I had sores all over my body. It became difficult to move. I wasn’t too good to eat from a garbage can. I ate the parts others wouldn’t eat. If you helped yourself, you could survive. I took whatever I could find. I ate things I wouldn’t tell you about.
“The worst it got was near the end. A lot of people died right at the end, and I didn’t know if I could make it another day. A farmer, a Russian, God bless him, he saw my condition, and he went into his house and came out with a piece of meat for me.”
“He saved your life.”
“I didn’t eat it.”
“You didn’t eat it?”
“It was pork. I wouldn’t eat pork.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“What, because it wasn’t kosher?”
“Of course.”
“But not even to save your life?”
“If nothing matters, there’s nothing to save.”
If nothing matters, there’s nothing to save.
I think it’s unequivocally terrible what Besh did. I bought pizza at his restaurant last week.
I think the way we treat animals bred for our dinner plates is horrid. I eat meat daily.
I worry aloud about the spiraling state of our environment. What do I do to back up my words?
Matt—such a valuable and thoughtful question! My boyfriend and I debated the same thing as we strolled into Pizza Dominica two nights ago to pick up our take-out.
I ask the same questions of myself and find it convenient (ethical or not) to cherry-pick. I recycle, reduse waste, and avoid shopping at fast-fashion clothing stores where I can. I donate to causes that support people who are harmed or underserved by or government. But I avert my eyes or mouth “sorry” at red lights when people in need come by my window with signs. And I scroll past heartbreaking videos of Syrian children on social media.
I struggle with the above actions because they strike me as inconsistency in my character. But your post is making me second-guess that assumption. Maybe the pang of guilt or the questioning is our way of morally grappling with the fact that we can’t do it all, not even close. Maybe it’s our consciences trying to remind us to make sacrifices in instances when we know we can make a difference.
I’m writing in circles. I feel a lot of anger toward Besh. I don’t know how as an individual to punish him without hurting those who work at his restaurants. All I know is that I feel guilty each time I spend money at one of his restaurants, and that guilt keeps me from being a regular. Maybe that’s enough?
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Hi Leigh! I’m sorry it took so long to write back. I think I was hoping I could come up with something smarter to your thoughtful response.
I hear you that we can’t do it all (not even close, as you pointed out), and that we need to pick where we can make a difference. And, I think if I take the time to isolate and think about what I care about, I can probably come up with something that’s better than doing nothing. (And maybe that’s the most important part — not letting the desire to get it all right at once stop us from making incremental change).
If I want to help the folks with signs at traffic stops, maybe I make a five or six peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each day and keep them in my backpack. I can hand them out when I get asked for help.
If I want to be more critical with how I spend my money at former (?) Besh establishments, maybe I first just take the time to dig in and find out to what degree he’s still benefiting.
If I want my eating habits to better align with my feelings on the treatment of animals, maybe I can start by limiting the number of meals with meat I eat each week.
I don’t know — just brainstorming! I’d love to grab a beer sometime if you’re in town and you have some time now that school’s out for summer!
Talk to you soon,
Matt
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You would have appreciated my daughter’s bat mitzvah this morning as today’s Torah portion was about the virtues of keeping Kosher. My daughter could not understand why people still do it.
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Hi Shane! Sorry it took me so long to reply. Gosh, I’m trying to remember what my Torah portion was, back in the day.
Want to get together for a Mets game next week? Our time as an above .500 time might be waning!
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I haven’t eaten at any of those places, but you raise a good point and now don’t know what I would do.
I also went on my own solo quest due to a hurt heart. Good post.
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Hi! Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the compliment. What was your solo quest, if you don’t mind me asking?
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I went to Ireland alone.
Well, Ireland was the goal. To get to Ireland I had to conquer the obstacles in my heart and mind along the way. Amazing journey of freedom. 😀
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